Saturday, August 4, 2007

Worried about no worries?

Let me narrate a very interesting conversation that I had with a close friend of mine. For the past few months, he was TERRIBLY worried about his job. I know because he used to discuss with me. He was worried about whether he should change jobs, whether he should continue where he was, what the pros and cons were, how he would inform his boss if he gets a new job, how to finish the deadlines before that, whether his resume was made well enough, whether he had correctly chosen the list of places to apply to, how to prepare for the interviews, whether his parents would be happy with his decision..... the list was never ending, really!

2 days ago he got a job offer that he is happy with. Now he has signed the new contract, has already informed his ex-boss, everyone is happy, including himself. Celebrations also done!

Before I started writing this blog, I was just chatting with him and we had a rather interesting conversation. Here is the uneditted chat excerpt:

Yours truly: so how are u feeling man? abt the new job? :)

Friend: am happy, one big prob solved, parents are of course happy.. but one thing i noticed is suddenly i dont have anything to worry abt.. so kinda feel.. empty.. amazed how much i used to worry abt the job..

Yours truly: LOL.. are u missing your worries ;)?

Friend: thts wht... yesterday and today not much work.. so i actually got bored. no expecting calls or emails, no tension whts gonna happen next.. no worry of how to break news to boss. so now i cudnt help but think.. so wht am i gonna worry abt next? :)

Some of our previous posts were about how to handle worries. This is a different problem of how to handle "no worries". This leads us to a very relevant question "Why do we love our worries?"

As Swamiji says, our worries make us feel we are important. It defines our identity. We like to worry about our work, children, their studies, home etc. because these are the few parameters that define us. If I were to ask you "tell me more about yourself", what would you say? Perhaps "I am Mr. XYZ, son of ABC and PQR, working in MNC, living in the USA, I love my BMW..."

Imagine you remove these parameters from your life, we feel as though the ground on which we have been standing is removed. We feel we are nobody. We have clutched so tight onto our so-called identity that we feel baseless when we do not think about these things. To put it simply, our ego is boosted when we worry!

I am told that when people reach their 50's, when their children are married and well settled, they feel a sense of emptiness. They have all along worried about getting their children educated and married, suddenly when it's all done, they feel a void. Some fill this void by next worrying about grandchildren and their education etc.. till they leave this body one day. Some of them take this opportunity to ask "Surely, my identity cannot be these external things, I am deep down something else, let me explore".

Worry clouds us and gives us an illusion of a false identity, which we hold onto very tightly. To see beyond, to experience the vibrant silence, our true nature is what meditation or any spiritual contemplation helps us towards. It is all about experiencing that beautiful space inside. Only the brave ones explore, the others give excuses and postpone. If you are ready for the jump, why not take the leap and see for yourself? Trust me, you will not regret it!

-- Ma Nithyananda Arpana

8 comments:

prabhu.i.am said...

Nithyanandam Ma...

Nice post, especially considering you have written it on an non-"working" day!

Do realize that now your friends would be wary of you, lest you make a blog posting out of their "real"-life incidents! Of course, that is a good thing. At least that would make them be in the present moment whenever interacting with you! LOL!

Your friend's incident reminds me of a genie whose contract stated that if he isn't allotted any work by his master, he would kill the master. So, the master, after having all personal desires met, asked the genie to climb up a pole and then down, and to keep doing just that ad infinitum!

In Nithyananda...
Am I the genie or the master?

Ma Nithyananda Arpana said...

Nithyanandam Rajendra,

At the end of the chat with this friend, I told him that I am inspired to write a blog posting about it. He said that it's definitely worth it and that I should write :)

Ya, we are all genies and Mr.Worry (inner chatter, whatever you may want to call) is the master..unless ofcourse this master is KILLED by a true Master! :)

Here there is nothing like non-working. Master simply makes us work all 7 days.. vat to do!

In Nithyananda!
Ma Nithyananda Arpana

prabhu.i.am said...

Nithyanadam Ma Arpana!

Nice interpretation of who the master in the story is! I had considered it to be our true self, but you gave a different twist! :)

Talking of your 24/7 work, I was poking fun at your usual 5 working days when you are supposed to be doing wot you mention in your profile's last line ("As an aside,...")! :P

Now this worry incident you mention about your friend reminds me of one of my own. (By the way, it's good that you took that friend's approval. I usually inform my friends after I have posted in my blog!)

So, talking of my incident... This used to happen in my childhood during the school days, especially during the exam times. When the exam is at peak, I would be studying and even while watching TV for an hour or so, a thought would be running in the head, "Hey wot are you doing? Are you done with your studies?" That kept me on my toes! I am being a bit egotistical over here. It's actually my mom who would be saying that! LOL! Anyways... so what I am saying is, during the exams there would always be the fear of not studying... usually when the subject wasn't of my liking!

And after the last exam you should see the sense of freedom... not just me, but all my schoolmates... it was like you have opened the door of a bird cage! The entire playground would be buzzing with school kids playing! After all, it would be the start of the vacation season!

Now back to Mr. Worry... For the initial weeks of my vacation, that thought would persist while I am enjoying my leisure time: "Hey wot are you doing? Are you done with your studies?" This time, it's not my mom, but my mind! Sounds funny, eh!?

I guess, all the studious fellas would relate to this incident. :)

Kannan said...

Interesting post....Coincidentally I wrote a blog posting on a similar topic just yesterday and Rajendra told me about this post!

http://meditation-bliss.blogspot.com/2007/08/friendship-with-silence.html

Ma Nithyananda Arpana said...

Nithyanandam Kannan!

Nice to hear from you. Read your post as well, how true! Here in Singapore the recent trend is to have these portable gaming devices which they cannot part with... and 90% of people in buses/trains plugged to earphones.

Btw, we had visited your blog previously (through Rajendra's links) and remember reading your post on inertia. Interesting that was, the replies... :)

In Nithyananda,
Ma Nithyananda Arpana

anupsar said...

Very relevant. One of the main causes for this is our childhood education pattern. We are taught to always work in mind. Read in mind, calculate in mind, and always engage your mind in something. Even mothers won’t allow the child to sit somewhere in silence!! My child may be bored alone, let me buy a computer game for him is a usual approach.

Sapna said...

A big Hi to my good friend from yonder years, who was also my Sansky pardner :). So, in keeping with your post here, I think here's an apt subhashita I recall:

chintaayaastu chitaayaastu bindu maatram visheshataH |
chitaa dahati nirjeevam, chintaa dahati jeevitam ||

In short American English: Stop worrying dude, you'll die!

-CB

p.s - I might say hi now and again, now that I have an avid interest in your life via your blog, perhaps drop a line or two or a subhashita I remember. Do visit mine and feel free to comment, though mine is more of a worldly blog :).

Ma Nithyananda Arpana said...

Hey CB!! Great to see you here.. :) And thanks for reminding me of that wonderful Subhashita.. Those sansky days! (sansky is our pet name for sanskrit)

And will surely look forward to more subhashitas from you :)

Nithyanandam!
Arpana